Guys Like Us: Chapter 17

"Fine, 8ut it's just 8ecause you told me so nicely and *without sounding like a smartass*" She put extra emphasis on that last part before she skipped off, cackling to herself. Dave didn't want to think about what she was going to do next.

Dave led John over to the shady area under the tree in his backyard. He (reluctantly) withdrew his arm from John's and Leaned against the tree in coolkid pose, arms folded and one knee raised as that foot was propped against the tree. "So, what's up?" He asked in the most level voice possible

At first, John sighed, then he just started shaking his head. "I don't really know anymore Dave" his voice sounding sad and tired. "I know I've said this before, but I- I'm done. I'm done with prison." More and more emotion building into his voice. "I'm done worrying about if I'm going to wear a dress in the morning or if Spades is going to stab me when I beat him at spades. I don't want to think about the fact that every day my face gets a little thinner because of the food, or that I can potentially be marked for cull if I so much as walk down the wrong corridor!"

Some of the prisoners were very territorial

Dave just listened as John continued, his volume approaching screaming at this point. "I can't sleep, my back hurts because I can't sleep, I can't function right because I can't sleep and I can't even remember my fucking dreams." John takes a deep breath looking utterly defeated. His voice drops down to a whisper. "I really tried to touch it out Dave, I did. I'm just not made for this sort of thing. I mean, do I look like a prisoner to you?" He didn't give Dave the opportunity to answer that. "All I did was go out to lunch with my best friend and look what fucking happened. And now I can't even remember the dream fun we have, so it's as if it didn't exist to me. Out of the two things that don't upset me in that place, my dreams were one of them, and I can't even remember them." At this point, John collapsed on the ground and into a sitting position, Indian style. He put his face in his hands, so his voice was a bit muffled.

"And I keep thinking, what happens if I die there? I miss my dad Dave. I mean, what if they give me the chair, a lethal injection or swing me from a rope—

"John!" This time, Dave had to interject. "Don't you dare talk like that." Dave slid down the tree to sit too, so he could be at eye level with John.

"See. Back there, nobody cares if you're losing yourself. Well I'm losing myself Dave. Can't you tell? I don't know if it's just the lack of sleep but I haven't been myself in weeks…" It sounded like John was finally out of steam. Sometimes it was best to let heavy things roll out this way.

"Nobody cares John?"

John looked up from his palms, at Dave's face. "Well, not nobody…"

"That's right. I care John. You're my best friend. When you're upset, I don't feel so good myself. I worry about you bro. I care a lot."

"Wow Dave" John said, voice trembling slightly "I'm so glad we're best friends" And John leaned forward to give Dave one of the best hugs he'd ever receive in his life. Dave didn't want to let go. He wanted more. He wanted John to shift in his arms so they could kiss too. So they could makeout as the silver screen went black, a perfect ending to the beginning of the greatest series ever to hit theaters.

John reveled in Dave's comfort. How familiar he felt and how warm he was. "Dave?" he said, still embracing his best friend, as the proverbial papping and shooshing continued.

"Yea?"

"The other thing that doesn't upset me, is you"

This made Dave pull back slightly, searching John's eyes for… yes! There it was, right in front of Dave's shades. Among John's tired eyes there was that sparkle that had been gone for so long. It wasn't full force, but it was returning, and that was good.

The embrace was broken, but the friendship stronger than ever.

"That was just like one of those shitty movies you love to spazz about" Dave let out a light chuckle and John did too.

"I know, and I'm sorry. It's just that place on top of a severe lack of sleep is just torture on my well being."

Dave looked at John, knowing the perfect thing to say. "You know what my Bro once told me?"

"What?"

"Life is but a dream for the dead. So even if you feel like shit, you're still living the dream"

John nodded in approval of the quote. Dave's Bro always had a way with words, which is why he was such a good rapper.

"God" John says with a chuckle, and crawls over to lean on the tree next to Dave. "On a scale of 1 to 10, how 'soap opera' did I sound just now?"

"On a scale of 1 to 10, I'd say you got a 413"

"Dave!" John punched his best bro in the shoulder. The life was back in his voice, but there was also a tiredness that couldn't be ignored. Even the punch was weaker than usual.

Dave mussed John's already messy hair and chuckled. John looked at his best friend straight through the shades, trying to find his eyes. "You need to take those off" John said after giving up the search.

"What do you mean by those?" Dave said suggestively, knowing John was referring to the shades. "'Those' could refer to a lot of things John…" Dave wiggled his eyebrows. It wasn't as good as Rose could, but still pretty could.

"Oh shut up. I don't have the energy for this" a slight smile still on John's face. They fell silent, listening to the gentle breeze ruffling the grass and leaves above them and the small creak of the slime pogo rocking back and forth ever so slightly.

"Hey John?"

"Mhm?"

"Why am I the other thing that doesn't upset you?" Dave was too curious not to ask. If he was a (lap) cat, he'd have 8 lives left.

John was too relaxed to care about how personal the question sounded, and how it almost made them sound like a couple, just talking…

"Well, you're the only other thing I had before prison." John put on his best girl voice and nuzzled his head into Dave's shoulder to drive home how cliché Dave's question sounded. "You were my best friend way before we got into this mess. You are the only thing I can look at, besides my dreams, and be reminded of days before I was locked up for reasons still unbeknownst to me."

John looked up from Dave's shoulder and batted his eyelashes several times. Dave thought he was going to die when he felt John's head hit his shoulder, let alone how adorable he was being.

John chuckled slightly, his head still resting on Dave. John yawned. He was extremely tired, and Dave's shoulder felt nice as opposed to the still unfamiliar bunk bed.

The tiredness overtook him as he said "I'm just going to rest my eyes…" which came out more like "In jus gonna ress my eyes…" and just like that, John was in a deep and peaceful sleep.

Dave started thinking… John didn't say "I'm not homosexual" once throughout that whole shebang.

He decided he'd tell John today and whatever happens happens. This is as good as the moment is going to get.

--Too bad this was all a dream!—


--JK! (trololol) it was real.—

"Dirk" Vriska called. "I've got some news for you" She smiled wickedly as she caught up to the man and his partner.

"Is it good news?"

"May8e… It depends on what you think good news it." The smile still plastered on her face.

"Just inform us please" Jake said, not too fond with beating around the bush.

"You have a court d8 coming up. You two and the two other guys. I don't know when though."

"Who told you?"

"A little 8irdie"

Dirk didn't bother pressing the issue further, because after a response like that, he knew she wasn't going to tell him anything else.

"Well thanks for the info, I'll pass it on"

With a nod, Vriska was off to do who knows what, who knows where.

--Back to the Dork and Coolkid—

So, John's still asleep, but the positions have changed. Dave is laying down on his back, one arm curled behind his head, while John's head rests on his stomach. Dave thought about going to sleep too, so he could accompany John in his dreams, but decided against it. Maybe John'll sort out some things subconsciously and awake the John that Dave knew before prison had anything to do with their lives.

Dave could hope.

It'd been about 4 hours since John had fallen asleep, so about 1 hour had passed in the real world. The time didn't always work like that in the portals, but for some reason around John's house, it did.

Dave really knows how to pass the time in his head. Who knows what (*cough cough sexual things cough*) could be going on in there while he indulges the warmth John's head provides, and how his exhales ripples the hem of Dave's shirt ever so slightly.

Also, Dave was paying NO attention to the close proximity of John's head to his crotch WHATSOEVER. (That was ironic sarcasm, in case you missed it, which would make the situation even more ironic)

John had been sleeping very peacefully until now. His breathing picked up he turned over, so he was now facing Dave's face instead of his crotch. John's eyebrows were furrowed as he mumbled something in a somewhat panicky tone. Then he screamed.

It made Dave's heart do a fucking kickflip off the handle, like his heart wants nothing to do with that handle, divorce papers filed and the restraining order is ensued.

He was about to wake John up when John stopped screaming. As a matter of fact, he started smiling as his breathing went back to normal. Dave relaxed, but propped himself up on his elbows so he could get a better look at John.

He was sweating slightly and breathing… differently. It wasn't the hurried breath of a nightmare, or the steady soft breath of sleep. It was… somewhere in between and Dave couldn't place it.

That is until a small moan came from John's mouth, followed by a shudder. Dave didn't know how to react, so he didn't, he just kept watching John, who rolled over again.

John awoke from his dream with a shudder and a start, blinking to find himself dangerously close to Dave's uniform covered crotch, so he rolled over to face Dave, not really registering the fact that he was laying on Dave's stomach.

"Hey sleeping beauty" Dave said

John yawned, eyes still half lidded "Hey Dave."

"Sleep well?"

"Yea" John said as he sat up and stretched, not freaking out about how he was sleeping on Dave just a few minutes ago.  

"You were a little vocal there buddy. What'd you dream about?"

This was news to John. In addition to sleepwalking, he talked/made noises in his sleep too. Great.

"Uh…" He said as he tried to remember. "Oh! Jack came back! Which was weird since we defeated him so long ago, but somehow he was back. We were relaxed about it and God tiered up to beat him again when Rose disappeared, then Jade…" He trailed off a little, collecting his thoughts. "Then you and me were trapped in these glass cells, and Jack was so happy. He went for you first. He used your shitty, broken sword to cut your head off. It was terrible Dave. I opened my mouth to scream, but nothing came out. Then he set his eyes on me. He reached out to grab me when you came in out of nowhere. Except this was a different you" John relayed the dream with vivid detail and multiple hand gestures.

"This was the recent you, and the other Dave was apparently a time clone. This you had on your prison uniform, and suddenly, so did I. You whisked me away from Jack and we somehow ended up in 'Kingdom KingDong' which was pretty strange. There were smuppets and cod pieces everywhere." John was blushing at this point, not the most comfortable sharing this detail.

Dave took this moment to ask "Why? What happened there?"

"Well, nothing really. We went to visit your brother because you needed his thumbs up for something. Your brother was the kind of the town by the way." John stopped to laugh, because Dave's childhood was corrupted with his brother's strange obsession with smuppets. "Lil Cal was his right hand man…"

John laughed again as Dave shuddered. He never liked little Cal. Even when he told himself Lil Cal was the shit, he was lying to himself terribly.

"So you were like 'Let's get the fuck outta here!' and time traveled us to your apartment…" John trailed off again, but with hesitation this time. He wasn't sure how Dave would react to this part of the dream, and wasn't sure if he should tell it.

"And…?" Dave said, egging Egbert on. "What happened next?"

"Well, I thanked you for saving me and then I woke up!" John said quickly.

"Bullshit!" Dave said. "You've never been a good liar John. What actually happened?"

"Well…" John looked down at the grass and rubbed the back of his neck. "Something ironic happened… you could say."

"Uhuh. And what would that be, exactly?"

John exhaled. "Just- just don't judge me, ok?"

"Never" Dave said, chuckling.

"Dave, I'm serious"

"Ok, fine. I Dave Strider, solemnly swear to keep all judgments aside. Happy?"

"Ok." He took a deep breath, obviously not comfortable with what he was about to say.

"John, it can't be that bad"

John raised an eyebrow. "10 bucks says you're wrong"

"Whatever dude, just tell me"

"Ok, ok. Where was I?"

"My apartment?"

"Oh yea. Well, we went to your room to chillax, and I realized I never thanked you for rescuing me from Jack, and certain death. Then, I uh… kissed you." He rushed the last part of the sentence and looked at Dave for any signs of judgments, gagging or freaking out. When there were none, John continued. Little did John know that Dave's heart was beating twice as fast as before.

"And uh… you kissed back" He was speaking in hushed tones, paying extra attention to the grass and how green it was. "Then… we got touchy feely… and that's when I actually woke up, I swear."

Dave didn't say anything for a moment, which to John, felt like forever and 13 days.

'Is this reality?!' was running through Dave's mind over and over again. He decided that this was very much reality and the moment couldn't get more perfect than this. John just had somewhat of a wet dream about you and you're sitting here like a derp. Speak Dave!

"John" is all you manage to say at first.

He tentatively looks up at you, expecting something.

"John" you repeat "I'm not sure how to say this… but I like you as more than a best friend."

And there it was. The bomb was dropped. The air was silent, even the breeze stopped to listen, and somewhere, in a distant portal far far away, a small city crumbled because of a volcanic eruption.

John didn't know how to react. Now he was the one expected to say something. He didn't even know how he felt. His heart did a little flippy thing when Dave uttered his previous words, but John was still a bit confused. And he couldn't shake the fact that "king me" had something to do with this.

"King me?" John said, not really sure of what he was saying, or why, but it seemed to have meaning to Dave, because he leaned forward, sliding a finger across John's jaw line before planting a gentle kiss on his lips.

John stayed still. He didn't respond, but he sure as hell didn't shy away.